Husbands and Wives

To the English speaking world, the word "love" is charged depending on circumstances and thus in marriage is assumed to be "real" love (whatever that means by modern secular standards) which to the Christian is ἀγάπη ("agape love").

Titus 2:4 is translated "love" but the word is φιλάνδρους (philandrous) the root of which is φιλέω ("friendship love"). Contrast this with Paul's command in Ephesians 5:25 for men to ἀγαπᾶτε ("agape love") their wives, and it is a direct instruction, comparing the love a man should have for his wife to that ἠγάπησε ("agape love") that Christ has for the church.

Also, in clarification, Paul's words in Titus 2:4 are that older women "encourage" whereas in Ephesians 5:25 it is a clear instruction from the Apostle to all men.
 

While translations equate the English word "love" where ever it is used, leaving it to the reader to assign an appropriate understanding of the circumstances and the intensity of the "love" expected, with all of the versions of love found in the more rich Greek language I have always found the curious distinction regarding the husband's required behavior toward the wife ("agape love") versus the wife's encouraged behavior toward the husband ("friendship love") to be one of LOVE vs. RESPECT.

As a human being, and a Christian, I believe it is entirely appropriate to teach women to LOVE ("agape love") their husbands, but this is not from scripture, rather it is from our human sense of fairness and the desire for love to triumph over all things.

Long ago, I studied this in depth (during the period of the Promise Keepers movement of the 1990s) and was both surprised, and humbled, by the comprehension of this distinction.

You see, Christ LOVES the Church as His bride, laying down His life for her. What does she do? RESPECT Christ as the Head -- deference, "fear", and as Peter repeatedly replied when asked by Christ Himself "Peter, do you ἀγαπᾷς ("agape love") me?" to which his answer every time was "I φιλῶ ("friendship love") you." 

We are supposed to LOVE God and our Savior so much that we "shrink not from death" but what the church has always done (big generalization, I know) is "friendship love" Jesus, just like Peter, focused more on ourselves and the mundane aspects of our lives while genuinely "loving" that He has forever forgiven our sin. Some in the Church truly do ἀγαπᾷς ("agape love") Jesus -- pour their ENTIRE life into His service -- just as some wives truly do ἀγαπᾷς ("agape love") their husbands, but most Christians do NOT pour their ENTIRE life into His service, nor is it actually expected, though God's desire is for us to ἀγαπᾷς ("agape love") Jesus, just as Jesus asked of Peter before resigning Himself to Peter's φιλῶ ("friendship love").

It is a very interesting study of the particulars of "love" and our relationship with God/Christ as well as our relationships with each other and our spouses.